Bob's Bridge

On the subway this morning I witness two grown ladies arguing and calling each other nasty names as they were boarding the train. Didn't know what happened or why they were arguing but it was a little disturbing to see professional grown women doing this. Now if it was two guys - it would be nothing new or unusual - because we are guys and we can be uncivilized at times. This just got me to thinking about women and just how complicated and confusing they can be. And so it reminded me of a little joke told to me by an uncle of mine who is currently visiting the big apple for the first time. My apologies if you have heard it before but it is worth hearing again.

So here goes....

Bob was sitting on the beach looking westward into the horizon and let out a huge dejected sigh. All of a sudden a loud voice comes down from the heavens and says..."Bob - This is God here...why are you so sad and gloom my son". Bob answers "God...I love the beach and I hear Hawaii has some of the best on earth. However, I get motion sickness very easily and can't fly or take a cruise out there. My only option is to drive and as you can see - Hawaii is a long way from here and there are no bridges". God then says..."I see...since you have been such a faithful and dedicated servant - I will grant you one wish". Excitedly Bob immediately answers "That is awesome God...if you could build me a bridge from here to Hawaii - I can drive myself there and I will be forever grateful to you". God replies "Well - Bob...you see...the problem is this. Not that I mind or anything but building the bridge is too easy...I need you to think of something that is much more impressive and difficult so that it will not only glorify me but when people see it their response will be - That could only be possible by the hand of God".

So after thinking for a bit - Bob then says "Okay God...I got one for you...I've never had much luck with the ladies. I've never been able to say or do the right things when I am around them. I want to know how they feel inside, and what they're thinking when they give me the silent treatment. I want to know why they're crying. I want to know what they really mean when they say 'nothing'. So this is my wish...I want you to grant me the wisdom to decode their messages and to understand women once and for all God". After a few moments of silence...God suddenly booms downward..."So - Bob - would you like two or four lanes for your bridge?"

Open Up And Say...Oohhhh

I went to a new dentist today for a routine teeth cleaning and met a very nice Russian hygienist by the name of Natasha. I've had a few oral hygienist over the years but this one by far is one of the best. She was very thorough and it looked like she really enjoys her job - actually it looked like she enjoyed her job a little too much. She was scraping and probing with so much gusto and dedication I didn't know if I should leave a tip when I was done. Most hygienists that I have had in the past just sat in their chair to do their work. But not Natasha - she started sitting down but actually got up and stood to the side and even behind my head at one point. For a moment, she was so deep into my mouth I think she had her elbow in there. As rough and forceful as she was, the ending was what really made her stand out. As she was wrapping up and I was prying my nails out of the armrest - she surprised me by dabbing my parched lips with a nice wet towelette - she just did it in such a caring and gentle manner that it made me almost blush. I was not only impressed but even had a little smile on my face as she did this. Very nice touch. As I was leaving I was thinking - although I was grateful for the great cleaning - I somehow felt that she should have been the one paying me for her services instead of the other way around. But nonetheless you bet I've already got my next appointment scheduled and I'm thinking about not flossing for a week before my appointment as a little gift to her. See you bright and early in six months Natasha....

I'll Take Whatever I Can Get

Yesterday - I went on a grueling 4 mile run and since it was very hot and muggy and hoping to get a nice breeze, I decided to go running on the West Side Highway trail instead of the Brooklyn Bridge route. It is actually quite a scenic route running along the Hudson with New Jersey across the river and a great view of the Statue of Liberty. I've jogged this route a few times before but yesterday was a bit more memorable.

Seems like I had a few admirers yesterday. A few minutes into my run I passed a walker and the person responded with a surprising "Mmmm Mmmm...that's right...that's right - kick those legs - you go boy". Of course I turned around and was going to smile back only to notice it was a MAN! Nonetheless as strange as it sounds, the compliment did give me a little boost and I straighten up my posture and kicked my legs a little higher just for him. After awhile the humidity was getting to me and I was just trying to focus on the person coming towards me to keep me orientated and from fainting as well. However, I guess I kept the gaze a bit too long because as this person was passing me - they gave me a nice big, long smile followed by a friendly wave. But the only problem was - once again it as another GUY. I guessed my sustained gazed gave him the wrong impression. A little while after that - another runner passed me and I noticed HE turned around and started jogging towards me. Now I don't know if this was his halfway point to turn back or not...but I didn't want to take any chances and figured this would be a great time for my sprinting workout. So off I went as fast as I could. Conversely, I also noticed a few times when women were running towards me, but as they got closer - for some reason - they either sped up and blew right by me or they turned around and ran the other way. The naive person in me just thought..."hmmm...they must be speeding up because it just happens to be the sprinting portion of their run or they have reached their half-way point and is just simply turning around". Don't know if something was in the muggy air today or maybe...just maybe...it was my really really short and I do mean short speedo running shorts that I had on - for all the interesting encounters I had. Not quite sure though. Well in any case - whether it be from guys or not - I guess I will take any and all the attention I can get.

I maybe planning on running again tonight. It is suppose to be hot and muggy again...so hmmm...Do you think I should go shirtless on my jog today?

Feel The Beat From The Tamborine

Last night I was fortunate enough to be treated with tickets to a great musical by a friend. The Broadway scene in NYC definitely has a The Winner Takes It All mentality - because there so many shows out there vying for your attention. And this is one of the great ones out there currently. Knowing Me and Knowing You - my faithful audience, I think you will like this show. Surprisingly - during alot of the songs - most of the crowd was dancing in their seats and got quite into it. There was not only a Dancing Queen or two on stage but in the audience as well. The show was so fast-paced it felt as if the sands of time was Slipping Through My Fingers. We also got treated to a rowdy mini-concert afterwards. The cast members got dressed in disco costumes and re-performed some of the songs again at this S.O.S. (sold out show). I won't mention who - but at least One Of Us sure showed off some fancy moves during the finale. Sure, this show may be a little pricey and cost some Money, Money, Money - but it is well worth it. So go ahead and Take a Chance On Me and my review and go see this show. Once you have seen it you will definitely want to Lay All Your Love On Me for recommending it - but that won't be necessary....So if you are ever in town - check out - Mamma Mia! A fun and lively play about - A mother. A daughter. 3 possible dads. And a trip down the aisle you'll never forget. All set to the mesmorizing, head-bobbing, arms-waving, toe-tapping music of ABBA.

You Always Remember The First Time

Feeling a little exhausted this week and also in trying to pamper myself more – I decide it was time to give Holly a visit. The last time I went there, my regular hair stylist was not in – so I decided to go home because I have tried the other stylist there several times and each time I left looking like a five year old kid. Dejected, I decided to leave and come back another day. But on the way back to the subway I just happened to stumble onto another salon. Feeling a wee bit adventurous and the fact that my hair was getting very bushy – I decided “Why not – it is only hair and it will grow back – so what the heck!” Well, I have to admit – this place was amazing. The head massage attendants were very young, attractive and “skilled”. The girl I had wasted no time in getting me comfortable and relaxed. She must have spent at least 20 minutes massaging, scratching, squeezing, rubbing and teasing my scalp and shoulders. We then headed to the wash sink to rinse out the shampoo and – to my utter surprise and satisfaction – she began to give me a mini-facial. She applied some cream and gently massaged my face for a good five minutes before putting a nice warm towel over my face. 30 minutes into this “experience” I thought my hair cut would then commence. But once again – to my surprise and satisfaction – she walked me back to my chair and proceeded to give me a shoulder and upper back massage for another 10 minutes. At this point I could have paid my bill and left a very happy man. But there was still the haircut. I had a decent cut from a male stylist there but for some reason – I don’t remember much about it.

So today I was torn when I decided to go get my haircut. Do I go back to Holly or Ms. X? I was leaning towards Ms. X, but when it was time to enter the salon, I just couldn’t do it. The pang of betrayal and dishonesty hit me and my conscience got the better part of my desires. Yes, Ms. X may be more attractive, younger, energetic and has more diverse skills - but I would never be able to go back to Holly in the future and look at her the same again if I skipped out on her twice. So as Holly was plying her trade on my scalp, it somehow just felt right. Sure it could have been more enjoyable elsewhere but for some reason, whether it be nostalgia or loyalty – you can never forget the memories of the very first time.

Dinner With A View

The other day after coming back from a jog in CP my friend and I saw a little gathering around a window looking into a fancy midtown restaurant. People were pointing, laughing and snapping pictures with their phones & cameras. So being of the curious type, we too clamored to see what the big fuss was. My first thought was, "Oh maybe it is some big celebrity having dinner - I just hope it's not Mathew Perry". But to my surprise it was not a celebrity at all. It was as strange a sight as I have seen in quite awhile and I have seen my fair share in this city my friends. What everyone was gawking at was a man - fully naked - sitting on top of a bed in the corner of this restaurant. He was sipping on a glass of wine talking to a woman who was was thankfully clothed. That in of itself wouldn't be too strange I suppose - but the odd thing was - just a few feet away - there were people dressed in suites and dresses dining on their gourmet entrees nonchalantly as if this was normal and most of all sanitary. My first reaction was "Ewww...." and then my second reaction was a shudder and a double "Ewwww...." I don't know about you, but I don't know if I would have much of an appetite with a naked, chubby, old and wrinkled gentleman not only in view but within spitting distance as well. Good thing he wasn't having any soup I suppose.

I have no idea what the concept was but I didn't want to stick around to find out either. I hope this image has been engrained in your memory as it has mine when you are dining tonight - Bon Appetit.

Manis, Pedis and Smileys

Sorry for the long pause between updates. Just been busy with work and a thing called life that cuts out on blogging time I suppose.So - shall we begin. This past week my friend from IN came up for a visit. Got to hang out for a bit and ate at Arturo's Pizza right by my apartment. I have to say, while it is no Grimaldi's - it definitely is one of the top places in the city. As for this weekend, a friend treated me to my very first manicure and pedicure. And I am definitely not ashamed to admit that it was actually quite nice. I need a little pampering too you know. Life in the Big Apple can be hard and getting tended to hand and foot(sorry about the pun, but couldn't help myself) was very nice and relaxing. And besides my toes have never looked better - the gloss really brings out the nice tone of my skin. Who knows...I just may have to make a return visit in a few weeks or ahem...tomorrow maybe. Never new it can be so addictive.

Then last night, I went to Battery Park with some friends for a nice little dinner picnic to check out the 4th of July fireworks extravaganza. This is the second grandest show in the history of NYC - only the one in 2000 was bigger. I guess they are trying to impress the Olympic Committee. It was very picturesque with the fireworks going off behind the Statue of Liberty. My favorites were the big smiley face ones - that made not only me and the crowd - well okay me and all the seven year olds and younger - oh and ah each time one was displayed in the sky. How can you go wrong with great weather, food and smiley faces. The only bad thing was the hordes of people leaving at the subway after the show but very nice evening overall.