Fountain of Yuck

Well boys and girls - it is time once again for a "I wish I just didn't see that but I did story". This morning while waiting on the subway platform with some friends I saw something that still makes me shudder just at the thought of it. We were just standing around talking and they made a comment about a man behind us that was acting kind of strange. I then regrettably proceeded to turn around and witness something that was not only disturbing but quite impressive. Unfortunately, I had turn around just in time to see this man spew what looked like vomit 10 feet into the air and onto the tracks as if he was a geyser at Yellowstone National Park. For a moment there, subconsciously I thought perhaps I was gazing upon some statue with a water fountain coming from his mouth in the middle of the town square in a small serene cobblestoned European village with the faint sounds of music coming from a street musician plying his art at the street corner along with the aromatic smell of fresh bread wafting through the spring air. But then I was suddenly jolted back to reality when my brain processed the fact that I was not in Europe because instead of water - he projected a murky, brownish, chunky vomit concoction. And as I witnessed this, part of me thought..."No...that was impossible...no human could have thrown up with that much force, velocity and quantity". Talk about shock and awe - but after the sensual befuddlement subsided, reality settled in and I knew what I witness was oh so real and oh so disgustingly gross. Although I do have to admit that the stream of vomit that lurched out of his mouth did have a very nice symmetrical arc and looked quite fabulously splendid if it had not been for the fact that he also hurled out half of his intestines as well. I suppose the rats will be having a feast tonight.