Sunshine, Sand and Speedos

Today's tempurature in NYC will be a low of 6 degrees and - 2 with the wind chill. That is why I am so disappointed about having to go to sunny Ft. Lauderdale and Miami tomorrow. Yeah for Bob!!! I will be heading down there to hang out with some peers, take them out to eat and do an agency visit. Yes, I hear your exasperations of sympathy again just as you did a few months back when I HAD to go to Vancouver. Can you believe having to get away from this wonderful artic weather and going to hot and sunny Florida - sipping on fruity drinks while wiggling my toes in the nice warm sand down south. All I ask is that you do not feel too sorry for me. I know it is a very hard and demanding life I live. As I always say and very true to form, "It ain't easy being Bob".

Hmmm...wonder if I still have my swimming trunks and any sun tanning lotion left. I will sure be thinking about everyone of you, especially to that crazy guy - "The Tan Man", who just raves about sitting in a tanning salon. Enjoy laying on that tanning bed in your speedo's - I'll have an extra margarita for you.

Free - Always Come At A Price

Last night I went to pick up a free bed I found on Craig’s List. For those of you not in the know – it is a website that posts – free stuff, for sale stuff, jobs, dating, housing and about everything else you could think of. I have already gotten another bed, a brand new tv, gas grill, patio furniture set and 2 computers already. It has a local site for just about every major city in the U.S. and the world. But anywho, I went to the southern tip of Brooklyn, only about 20 minutes away to pick it up. So when I got to his street I searched and searched for his address and could not find it. I called and told him the intersection where I was and then he asks me...”Are you in Manhattan?”…And I said, “Manhattan?!!?”…No I am in Brooklyn!!!". He said he lives in the West Village. Arrrgghhhh!!! I could have sworn his post said something about Brooklyn, he must have made a mistake and not realized it because we all know that I could not possibly make a mistake right? So now I have to drive all the way back and into Manhattan, the only thing that made it bearable was that I got to drive across the Brooklyn Bridge. I have ran and walked across the bridge several times but never driven across – so it was kinda nice. I finally get to his building and it turns out he was only 5 minutes from where I work. I could have just driven to work in the morning and picked it up after work and saved myself the time and hassle. But oh well, of course I am not surprise with the luck that I always have.

Anyway, he was kind enough to drag down the box spring and mattress with me. And this is where the fun begins my friends. We flatten the middle and back row seats in the van and loaded the mattress. We then tried to put in the box spring next but it did not fit. We decided that we needed to put the box spring in first and then the mattress. So we took out both the box spring and mattress and put it back on the roof. This time we proceeded to put in the box spring first and then attempted the mattress next. But of course the mattress did not fit because the two rows of seats were in the way and everything was sitting up too high. Do you remember the little sliding tile puzzle with 8 numbered tiles in a nine-space square? And you had to maneuver the tiles using the empty space to get every tile to line up sequentially? Well that was how it was with us. In the van, out of the van, on the roof, back into the van, and back out of the van again. In the Craig’s List posting he had said if no one picked it up he was just going to leave it out on the curb. Well, after about 30 minutes of the sliding bed puzzle game, I half joked and half seriously said maybe we should just leave the dang thing on the curb. And at this point, this poor guy was probably thinking the same thing. We were ankle deep and some places knee deep in snow because of the plowing. But then we took a breather and had a little conversation. I admitted to him that I did a search on the internet on his name just to be sure he wasn't some crazed psycho out to lock me in his apartment and kill me. And it turns out he was in an article in the New Yorker about some high tech business stuff. So I think he was kinda impressed I knew that and kinda offended that I thought he would kill me. Oh well, you can never be too safe around here in this city. You never know...After that little awkward small talk we put everything back on the roof and took out the 2 rows of seats. We then proceeded yet again to put in the box spring and then the mattress and they both barely fit in but still left one little problem. Now we just had to somehow get the two rows of seats back in, which weighed about 40-50 pounds each. So after some squeezing, pushing, and bending we finally got everything back in the van. And off I went back home and I am sure that guy regretted ever posting the ad.

So 1 sore back, 2 bridges, 3 boroughs, 4 hours, and 5 jammed fingers later – I made it home with my FREE bed. All I know is this better be the most comfortable bed that I may or may never sleep on!!! I won’t even begin to tell you how I got it out of the van and into my building. That is another post for another day – Oi Vey!!!

The Great Blizzard of 2005

Yes...I know we are only 24 days into 2005 – so in a way it was the great blizzard of 2005 so far. I had some visitors this weekend, one of them came all the way from San Antonio, Texas - so she got a good kick out of the storm – all 13 inches of it. While it wasn’t one of the bigger storms, it was nice to finally get some snow here. Fresh snow just somehow puts a nice big blanket of pleasantness to New York City. We were out and about on Saturday – and before we headed back home we trudged along and made it to Central Park. With hardly anyone there, we decided to hop over a fence into an undisturbed meadow of fresh snow. We plopped down and made snow angels in about a foot of clean white snow. Some other people saw us doing this and decided to jump over the fence and make their own angels as well. Then on Sunday, I just stayed indoors all day getting my fill of football. Was very tempted to go to the bakery but it was just too cold. The dessert and coffee will just have to wait for another day. But alas my friends, all good things must come to an end. As the city was covered in a nice sheet of white - after a day or two with all the traffic, shoveling, walking and dogs – the city is now or will be covered in a blanket of nasty gray with a few yellow spots here and there. Oh well...that’s just the way the snowflake falls I guess.

I'm Baaack....But Off The Market

First, let me apologize to my faithful readers – if there is any of you left – for not updating my blog in a while. I was busy entertaining some guests last week. So once again, my sincere apologizes.

Well for the extended weekend, I just milled around the house working on my resume and updating my profile on Monster.com. I also applied to several positions at MTV. That would be so cool to work there – right in the heart and madness of Times Square. I can definitely see myself working there and “accidentally bumping” into celebrities all the time.

Also, I was able to catch two flicks this weekend. Originally, I wanted to see Sideways – but it was all sold out so I ended up watching Million Dollar Baby – a story about a female boxer and her trainer directed by Clint Eastwood. It has been getting a lot of favorable buzz and I thought it was a good movie, not a great one, but a good one that had some emotional flare to it. The first 3/4 of the movie was what I expected, but the last 1/4 was definitely not what I expected. It was like a left hook I never even saw it coming – boxing pun there by the way...(insert rim shot).

The other movie that I saw was Closer. Now this was a very interesting movie. Once again this was a good movie, not a great movie but a good one that had some emotional flare to it. Hmmm...somehow that sounds vaguely familiar. But anywho, the subject of this one was much more different and intense than MDB. A few months ago, I blogged about Reality Movies and how we never see them – well this to me, is about as real as you can almost get. It is about love, intimacy, bitterness, resentment, loyalty and betrayal. The two couples in this movie obsess, cheat, hurt, and lie to each other a few times over. The movie starts like a nice romantic drama, then does a 180-degree turn and shows what happens when happily ever after rots from the inside out. It isn't just the relationships that curdle, but the characters. Their interaction becomes bitter, cold and heartless. It shows the worst in humans and what we are capable of doing to the ones we love. I actually left the theater quite depressed and vowed never to be in another long-term relationship again. The pain, hurt and suffering just does not seem worth it. Because in a cynical way, I think that given enough time – people especially the ones you love - will eventually disappoint you. Kind of demented and cynical but that wouldn’t be Bob. So now don’t you just want to go out and see this movie....and by the way sorry to all the cuties, sugar mommas, Hollys, peeping Pattys – and yes Jacks too – Bob is off the market....for now.

Egads....Say It Isn't So

Today my faithful readers - I come to you with a very heavy and saddened heart. I have just received some very bad news. I found out that two of my very close friends have just split up. I have known them separately long before they started dating and have grown to become very fond of them. When I found out they were seeing each other and finally getting married - I was so elated. I thought they were a match made in heaven and that they were just made for each other. Over the last few years they seemed so happy and in love with each other. Sure they had some rough times, but isn't that the case with all relationships. Why, just a few weeks ago they were still talking about having some babies and starting a family. They also just sent me some pictures of them vacationing in the islands not too long ago. I guess you just can never tell - in this day and age - anything is possible I suppose.

In the next few days, I hope to talk to her soon - maybe over some coffee and see how she is doing. I just want her to know that I'll be there for her and will always lend an ear when she needs to talk. As for him, I am thinking of rounding up the boys - about 10 of us and flying him out to his favorite place - Las Vegas, to hang out, have some fun and get his mind off things. Hopefully in time, they will find someone new and start over again. For I ask "Do we all not deserve to be happy?" Believe it or not, this is one of the few times where I am just at a lost for words and am still feeling numb to the news.

Oh well, all I can say is good luck to the both of you - Brad and Jennifer....I wish you well and all the best......

Subway Fireworks Part II - The Return Of The Racist Menance

Alrighty then, after a little detour yesterday – I am ready to conclude the story about the fight in the subway over the weekend. As I was saying, after this loony guy started mouthing off very offensive tirades to two different ethnic groups – he got punched in the face a few times. After a few seconds, everyone on the train realized that it could escalate into something worse really quickly. So people around the fracas started rushing towards the end of the cars. To his credit – the guy that got hit just stood there without fighting back, probably in shock that someone actually had the audacity to hit him for his derogatory remarks. He had this befuddled look and was bleeding from the mouth and I think two of his teeth fell out also. Not having learned his lesson yet, he started to mouth off again. So when we got to the next station, a lot of people where just streaming out of that car as it came to a stop. I on the other hand with a sick curiosity got closer to the action. So as he was in the middle of his crazed rant, the two black men pushed him out of the car. At first he resisted by stretching his hands across the doorframe, but the two guys finally overpowered him and that is when he ran to the car in front of us. He got between the doors and started yelling to the people in that car - that he wanted police down here and that he was being attacked by two n*&$#(!. Now, these people in the car ahead had no clue what is going on and are probably a little shocked to see I guy all bloodied and yelling for the police. I assumed someone pulled the emergency brakes and that brought the whole subway train to a complete halt and standstill. The conductor came out and started to investigate the situation, and eventually made it to the car I was in. The two black men then proceeded to tell him that the white guy was the instigator and that he was a little more than coo-coo for CoCo puffs. The conductor then asked the whole car if what was being said was the truth, a collective "YES" was echoed throughout the car by whomever was still left at that time. He then got off and walked towards the crazy guy – and had some sort of discussion with him. After a few minutes the conductor got back on and started the train up again. Pretty soon we were on our way again. For the people that got on at the next stop, everything was back to normal as if nothing had happened just a few minutes earlier except for the two bloodied teeth that were still on the bottom of the car.

Too Much...Even For BobMan

Before I continue with the story from yesterday, I have to share another interesting subway story I experienced this morning first. As the E train was coming to a stop at the station, I noticed that the car my roommate and I was about to get on was quite empty - which was quite unusual, as compared to all the ones that just passed by. We got on and were excited to see seats available because normally there are no seats available. As we were sitting we noticed a very unpleasant aroma wafting through the air. The funk was quite horrendous and putrid. Now, having ridden the subway for a year now - I have witnessed, or should I say sniffed quite a variety of unpleasant odors. There has been poop, pee, puke, b.o. and winos - but never before have I smelled the stench that was present. I then also noticed everyone with their nostrils covered by either their hand or a scarf. It was actually quite a very funny sight - if only my own nostrils had not been attacked in such a sledgehammer over the head – mind numbing manner. In the ten seconds or so - my olfactory senses was just overwhelmed by the unbearable malodorous funk. So without a word or notice - I bolted up and ran out of the car - leaving my poor roommate to fend for herself. At this point - I must say it is every man/woman for themself. Sorry Max. She was quicker than I thought and was able to exit the car behind me. We then ran to the car behind us and I was barely able to stick my arm in as the doors were closing. I was able to force the doors open into of course a jam-packed car this time for the both of us. I almost lost an arm this morning, but I don't think I would have made it and would have passed out if I had to stay on until the next stop. I would even dare say that Superman with all his super hero powers would not have made it to the next stop let alone Bob - in tights or not. Perhaps if I had a cape, then maybe...just maybe....because at least I could put that over my nose.

But anywho, back to yesterday's story.....but alas....my faithful readers - I can not continue anymore. Maybe tomorrow. I am still in shock and still feeling a little light headed and faint from the rude wake up call this morning. The smell still seems to be lingering in my subconscious or is it on the bottom of my shoe...hmmm...better check just to be sure.

Subway Fireworks Part I

I wasn't feeling all that great on Friday so I just decided to stay home and watch Regis Philbin on TV instead. After the ball dropped, a roommate and I went upstairs to the roof deck to watch the fireworks. It was a little chilly and I wasn't properly dressed so we headed down after 10 minutes or so.

As for Saturday - I got up pretty late - grabbed a bite to eat - watched some college football - ate some more - took a long nap - watched some more football - ate some more - watched some more football - ate some more - watched more football - and then went to bed. And no I did not shower, I was in my jammies all day long. But I did manage to finally brush my teeth before going to bed. I think this will be my new tradition for every Jan 1st. Ahh....what a way to start of 2005.

For Sunday, I thought that I should be a little more productive than the day before. So I got up early - showered and BRUSHED my teeth before eating breakfast and watching some football highlights on ESPN from the night before. I then got my Sunday paper and headed to my neighborhood corner bakery for some coffee and a slice of NY cheesecake....hmmm....hmmm...good. After perusing the newspaper, sipping my coffee and savoring every bite of my cheesecake - I headed back to watch what else...but more football. I then felt inspired to go to a place that I haven't visited in a few days and that was the Snowflake show. I've been fortunate to arrive right before the show the last few times, so I got to watch two shows again. It is still crowded but not as crazy as before Christmas.

On the way home, I witnessed another fight on the subway. But this time - it was much more violent than the last one. It seems there was a guy, whom I thought was initally one can short of a six-pack, but just turned up to be a rude racist jerk. As the train was pulling away, an argument broke out at the other end of the subway car. He, a white male, started to call a black male stupid, ignorant and a few other things. I guess both were pushing each in an attempt to get on the train earlier. A lady stood up and yelled at both of them for being at fault and to cool it. The white male than started his tirade on her - calling her a this and a that and a dirty jewish *@!%*. Then another black man came out of no where and punched the white guy about 3 times in the face. By now everyone sitting/standing there was running towards my end of the car. Talk about fireworks for the New Year. But unfortunately my post is getting too long and you will just have to tune in tomorow for the conlusion of this story my friends......Till manana.....