10

That is the answer to the all consuming question that has been lingering in your head. 10 - that is the number of stores it takes to find a bag of Funyuns. Amazingly, it only took on stop in Manhattan - a store right across where I work to find a bag - Yippee!!!

As for dinner at Jack's last night - it was pretty good. They had a fully stocked wet bar - which was quite impressive. Then, for appetizers - we had buffalo wings, little pigs in blankets, shrimp cocktail and your assortment of chips. And for dinner we had mozzarella and tomato slices, green beans, baked ziti, and this baked chicken with veggies dish. Then to top it all off they also had an assortment of baked Italian goods – cannollis, napoleons, lady fingers, tarts and of course those yummy cookies. And I am also happy to report that there were no incidents either. A second yippee!!!

Well I am off to California to spend some time with my family for the next few days. I will also be going to a Scorpions concert - one last and very big yippee!!! - and either golfing, snowboarding or some off-shore fishing while I am over there. Take care - happy holidays and see you all next week.

How many stores does it take….

… to buy a bag of Funyuns – those delicious onion ring snack? I don’t know, as soon as I find out – I will let you know. I volunteered to make green bean casserole for our Thanksgiving dinner with my roommates tomorrow night. And one of them has Celiac disease – meaning she is allergic to gluten – meaning she can’t eat anything with wheat in it. I usually top the casserole with fried onions in a can, but she can’t have that stuff because it has some wheat products in it. However, she can have it topped with you guessed it....Funyuns – believe it or not. Who would of thought Funyuns and Doritos too, by the way - contain no wheat at all? So anyway, last night I must have went to at least 9 different places including – grocery stores, drug stores, and convenience stores to buy a bag of Funyuns – and not one store carried it. Coming from Texas and living near Frito Lay’s(the maker of Funyuns) headquarters – I could just not believe there are no freakin Funyuns in all of New York. Strange and weird....but true my friends.

Also, tonight I am having dinner with my good friend Jack. That’s right, tonight I will be heading over to his apartment he shares with two other people. They are having some sort of pre-holiday meal and are inviting a few people over. There should be alot of people there, so I should be okay – but we shall see. Well, have a good day – I gotta go now – I’m off in search of that elusive bag of Funyuns. If any city in the world has everything – it has to be New York City. I refuse to believe that there is not a store with some Funyuns here. Every journey no matter how far - must start with a single step my friends and off I go....

In The Eye Of The Beholder

Well on Saturday, me, my 2 roommates and about 15,000 of our closest friends waited in line to get into MOMA. The line wrapped around the whole city block between 53rd and 54th & 5th and 6th Avenues. It almost felt like crossing the finish line of a marathon once you got in. But once inside, the experience of MOMA and also waiting in the long line was something very cool and neat.

As for the art, the best piece of art that I saw was Van Gogh's "Starry Night". It was definitely very beautiful and colorful and it was cool to acutally see art that is considered a masterpiece in person. I also got to see Monet's Water Lillies, The Campbell Soup and Marilyn Monroe paintings from Andy Warhol and alot of Cezanne and Picassos. Now on the other hand, I saw quite a bit of sculptures and pieces that just really made me scratch my head and say "huh?....you call this art?" Now I guess you will have to excuse me for being a simple minded bumpkin, but some of those things I just did not get. And it made me think that if some considered this stuff art than that means that we can all be artists too. I probably would have appreciated it more if the artists were there explaining their concepts, but that was not the case. And so that left alot to the imagination. I guess it is true what they say - art like beauty, is definitely in the eye of the beholder. Guess I need to get some contacts or glasses or something....

Then on Sunday went out to do some shopping, eating and hanging out. Even though it is not even Thanksgiving yet, all the major department stores - Macy's, Bloomingdale's, Saks - already had all the Christmas decorations on display in their windows. All of them were very extravagant and colorful and oh so pretty. Then I went down to Chinatown for some dumplings then to SoHo for coffee and dessert and finally went to Herold Square where the flagship Macy's was and bought two shirts.

After the long day, it was time to go home and when I got there, Max had dinner almost ready. A very wonderful chicken-mushroom-rice casserole dish. Yummy. Capped the night off by watching Monster with Charlize Theron - now that was a very disturbing movie....It made me quite uncomfortable a few times, and I'm a guy. I guess you will just have to watch it for yourselves to find out why.....

Ray, Nick, MOMA, and A Latte..Ahhh

Since this is the only weekend that I will be in NYC this month - I am planning to just hang out and about. Can't believe that I have been or will be out of town every weekend this month except for this one. It will be nice to just relax and take in the city.

As for tonight - my roommate and I are probably going to grab a slice from Famous Original Ray's Pizza and then go see National Treasure with Nicolas Cage. I've been dragging Max around town the last few months to see all the foreign, artsy movies and she said it was her turn to see a movie she wanted for once...some people - "it is always about them" - so as usual, I will be accomodating - because is just my nature and because it is never about me.

Then on Saturday - it will be a good time to gain more culture and refinement with some head tilting and saying "hmm...interesting...the colors...the contrast....the boldness...the vision...what a genius." Yep, I am thinking about going to the renowned Museum Of Modern Art. It is having a grand re-opening after a two-year $425 million renovation project that has just been completed. Before you say, "Not living very simple are you Bob?", for your information - the $20 fee will be waived just for tomorrow - so there!!!. The line to get in will probably be 10 miles long but if it is free - I am there. I've always wanted to go to MOMA and this would be the perfect occasion if I do say so myself.

For the rest of the weekend, I am thinking about going to SoHo for some shopping - well more like checking out all the cheap stuff the street vendors usually hawk down there. And of course it has been weeks since I have had a chance to do my Sunday ritual of sitting at the neighborhood bakery around the corner - getting a latte, a pastry and reading my Sunday paper. So nice to be in town for a change - enjoy your weekend. Cheers.

P.S. - Just Kidding Max

One Scoop or Two?.....

Vancouver - what a majestic city. It is flanked by mountains, a temperate rain forest, and of course the Pacific Ocean.
With my impeccable timing and my usual good fortune - I just happen to be traveling when the Canadian Dollar is at a ten year high against the US Dollar. But with that being said - everything was still relatively cheap up north - except for......deli meat. That stuff was worth more than gold going for $15 dollars a pound. Crazy Canadians.....

As for the places that I went to - the best and most amazing place was called La Casa Gelato. I simply will just refer to it as "208". That's right it had 208 flavors of ice cream. Both Baskin Robbins and Chinatown Ice Cream Factory in Manhattan don't hold a candle or in this case a cone against this place. I went there on two of the three nights I was in town and I was able to sample about 100 of the 208 flavors. Besides the normal and popular flavors, there was - Death By Mango, Chile Chocolate, Spumonti, Apple Wasabi, Pear Gorgonzola Blue Cheese, Durian Jackfruit, La Dua, Pineapple Poppy, Green Basil, Wild Mushroom and oh about 198 other flavors. If you ever go to Vancouver that is a definite must-stop place. It is located in the middle of Vancouver's Little Italy and China Town. And a bit of advice, just get one scoop because you will be so full sampling all of the flavors. And plan on being there for oh...say...two hours or so before you finally decide on what flavor you want.

Also, having been recommended by a friend to try an exotic fruit called Mangosteen - I was on the hunt for these so called juicy delicacies. Having never eaten one, let alone seen one before - I had no idea what it looked liked. Finally I went to a store that had a sign saying what it was and I was able to purchase two small ones. Now, the big question after buying them was - how to eat these weird looking things. The outside cover is hard and leathery, and the name had the word mango in it- so I figured I would just bite into it. Boy was that a big mistake, it was the most bitter, tart and nasty thing I ever ate. I thought, maybe this isn't ripe yet and I was quite at a loss as what to do next. I thought about just tossing them and being done with it. But of course not - what did I do instead, I took another bite of course. I thought that it would somehow miraculously ripen between my first and second bites. Well of course it did not, and I was like forget it as I was mumbling to myself "thanks alot DC for recommending this to me". So as I was walking towards a trash can to throw it away, I sort of just poked and squeezed at it along the way. And as I was just about to throw it away, I noticed it had a softer interior and decided I might as well tear it apart it to see if it would look any different in the middle or would it be the same. After ripping it apart - I then noticed that there actually was an edible part of the fruit. It had white slivers of flesh on the inside that had a nice aromatic and exotic taste to it. Of course naturally, the second mangosteen was much more enjoyable and much easier to eat.

I also got to go see the salmon run, although it was almost the end of the season. There were still some stragglers but not alot. They also took me on a hike through the rain forest, across a suspension bridge and a gorge. The city was very scenic and b-e-a-u-tiful. All in all - the trip was quite enjoyable and relaxing - except for the mangosteen rind.

There's Always One....

You know how no matter where you go – there is always one person that just talks way too much. And wouldn’t you know it – he was that guy sitting next to me on my trip to Vancouver Yeah - lucky me!!!!

When I got to my seat on the plane and was settling in – from the corner of my eye, I noticed that the guy next to me was looking at me with a big smile on his face and that he was just eager to start a conversation. At first, I resisted because I was tired and just wanted to sleep because I woke up at 4:30 am that morning. But as I finished settling in – he was still looking at me and I made the big mistake of turning to him, smiling and saying good morning. And that was the opening he was looking for and that is when the floodgates opened up. He then proceeded to tell me – how he was in an elbow war with the guy next to him on his last flight, and how he had to call the stewardess over to settle the dispute, how in 40 years - he has flown on every airline, how he has a nephew that is some big shot at AA and that whenever he mentions his nephew’s name to the AA staff - they would all poop in their pants – why was he flying Delta anyway(hmm…makes you wonder), how his wife is the grand daughter of a Mafioso don, how his wife also used pepper spray on another woman because she kept on poking her baby grand daughter too much while she was in her crib in the park, how he was a police officer in the past and that he once transported a criminal on a three day trip across the country and that he would not let the guy go on bathroom breaks and that the guy peed and pooped on himself for the entire trip, how he owns his own grocery store – yet likes to shop at this competitor’s store because it was closer to his house(another hmm…makes you wonder), how if you are ever traveling that the best bathrooms to use while on the road is Target,Wal-Mart, and Kmart – in that specific order, and how he never checks in luggage and packs everything in a one carry on bag and he would buy whatever else he needed once he landed. And that was all in the first 20 minutes of the flight – BEFORE WE EVEN TOOK OFF because of a delay. By this time everyone on the plane was sleeping, except for me and my new bestest friend.

So finally, as the plane was done taxi-ing and was now picking up speed for takeoff, I noticed for a split second - he was looking out the window. This is when I quickly put on my headphones to the cd player, closed my eyes and turned my head the other way before he could turn around. Ahh…the sound of silence, I think the whole plane let out a collective sigh of relief. I would take a peek once in awhile and would see him facing me wanting to talk again, but I did not dare open my eyes or even move. After awhile the stewardess came by serving drinks, and this is when I made the tragic mistake of opening my eyes and requesting a coke. He took this opportunity to start another rambling conversation with me, but unlike him – I WILL SPARE you and not put you thru what I went through a second time. Serves me right for being greedy and wanting a drink.

O Canada

That’s right, I am on my way to Canada tomorrow and no – it is not because President Bush was re-elected. I will be going to Vancouver for a few days to visit some people up there, hang out, eat and take in the scenery. Yes, I know – I know, I can hear the sighs of sympathy from all of you. Thank you so much for your compassion in regards to the hard and tough life that I lead up here in NYC. It is not easy being me. So this means that there will be no postings for a few days until some time next week. Have a great one and I will try my best – as hard as it may be - to enjoy this weekend too. Toodles for now......

Reality Movies

Well over the last few weeks, I have shared some random thoughts, raves and musings. Today I would like to share a rant that has been in my head for a few days now.

After reading the book Breakfast at Tiffany’s – I finally saw the movie the other day. Two major differences between the book and the movie were - the main male character in the book was just a struggling writer and not a struggling writer with a sugar momma on the side like the character in the movie. And the other difference being the main female character Holly got on a plane and left whereas in the movie she stayed with Paul. That got me to thinking about movies and their Hollywood endings. For some reason – most movies and especially romantic comedies, always have a happy ending that allows the audience to usually leave the theater with that warm and fuzzy feeling. You have your basic formula of boy meets girl, boy gets girl, boy loses girl, boy finds girl again, boy and girl lives happily ever after. They don’t ever show you what happens to these people after all the lovey-dovey butterflies in your stomach feelings have subsided and that they are probably now sick and tired of each other. Almost all the time - these movies are very unrealistic and always end at the moment where everybody is happy walking hand in hand into the sunset. But with the wild popularity of all the reality tv shows out there – it made me think. Yes, contrary to popular belief – I do think from time to time you know. So as I was saying – I was thinking that they should also make movies more realistic so that it can really reflect real-life circumstances and scenarios.

So I have come up with a few movie ideas for sequels to some very popular romantic comedies of the past and have given them a more realistic spin of what happens to the characters some time after where the original movie ends. So here goes. First up is a sequel to When Harry Met Sally called When Harry Left Sally. The story picks up about 6 months after the movie ends and Harry finally realizes that they are truly better off as friends and not as lovers. That it is really him and not her - so he decides to dump Sally and hopes that they can still somehow remain "friends" and goes off to find his true soulmate. Another one is the sequel to Sleepless in Seattle called – Sleepless in Seattle 2 – Because You Snore And Hog All The Covers. The story picks up about 7 years later when they are married and have a few kids together. Tom Hanks character is now fat, balding and likes to sit at home watching football on the weekends. While Meg Ryan’s character resents the fact that she has had to give up her career to be a housewife doing all the cooking, cleaning and child rearing without any help from Tom. And while they still "love" each other - they are not "in love" with each other anymore. They have succumbed to the normal mundane routines of daily married life, and are just really staying together for the sake of the kids. And finally the last one is a sequel to Pretty Woman called – You Were a Pretty Woman. This plot picks up about 2 years later where Richard Gere’s character has grown tiresome of Julia Roberts’ character and decides it is time to trade her in and upgrade her for a younger and more attractive model. So do you think that I can start shopping these ideas to Hollywood any time soon or do you think I am just jaded, cynical and bitter? Well jaded – definitely yes, cynical - maybe just a little, bitter - not at all, can you tell?

See Spot Run. See Spot ......

For some reason or another I had the privilege to witness another “hmm…did I really see that” event on my way to the subway this morning. There was a man casually walking sideways towards me along the curb. I noticed him because it seemed as if he was squirting something on the street from a bottle in his hand – but he was kind of doing it somewhat discreetly and suspiciously. So this kinda grabs my attention – although now knowing what transpired next – I wished that I hadn’t paid him any attention at all. As I got closer to him, I still saw him continuing to squirt something as he was walking. I’m like “What is he doing and what is he squirting?” Occasionally, I see employees of a store clean the entrance and sidewalks where the store is, and since this was right outside of McDonalds – I thought he was cleaning the sidewalk. So by now, I am only a few feet away I noticed that he was not cleaning the sidewalk and that he then tucked something back inside his pant’s zipper. What he was doing was peeing on the street while walking along the curb – doing it as nonchalantly as if this was something everyone did on their way to work. Now mind you, this was in broad daylight at around 8:45 am – with people hustling and bustling getting to work. He was not a wino or a homeless person, just your average Joe. Ah….nothing like a sight like that to give you a jolt to wake you up as you shake your head in befuddlement. But the next time I see something like this, I will now know to just keep looking straight ahead and to mind my own business. One thing about this city – it never ceases to amaze me. I guess if dogs can pee on the sidewalk, so can we right?

The Milky Way - And Not The Candy Bar

I am back – refreshed, renewed and definitely fatter. The weekend was great. We went to a retreat center in Northern Massachusetts – about 3 ½ hours from NYC. The accommodations were exceptional and I was the only one to get my own room. Not that I am that important or anything – but because I have the good fortune or misfortune I suppose of being a very loud snorer. I can make the roof vibrate from what I have been told. But I don’t believe a word of it, because quite frankly – I have never heard myself snoring, so therefore I think that it was just all made up. But anywho – we were in a rural area and high in the mountains – the change in scenery was quite nice. The night sky was magnificent, I have never seen that many stars in my life. The sheer number of stars on a clear night in the country was amazing. I even got to see the The Milky Way (click link) for the first time. It is just a huge swath of stars and cosmic matter that gave out a nice soothing eerie glow. I also got to see a few constellations - Orion, Cassiopeia and The Pleiades. Kinda funny thing was - there were so many stars that I could not even find the Big Dipper. Coming from OK and TX – that was usually something that you always noticed first. We were also pampered and fed quite well over the weekend. It was a constant gorge fest with 3 meals a day plus midday snacks. Must have gained at least 10 pounds – but alas – back to P&J sandwiches now. We also got to soak in the hot tub for a few hours on a chilly autumn night, which was very relaxing and therapeutic at the same time. Kinda sad to leave, but kinda excited to go back to NYC – because there’s no place like home.

Dinner and Golf Anyone?

The other night, my roomies and I all went to a mixer event that featured a viewing of the new movie Ray staring Jamie Foxx. Now I had heard great reviews about the movie and thought it would be good, but it was not on my must see list. And let me tell you, boy – was I blown away by the movie. The movie in my opinion, took a few liberties regarding some of his inner demons – but a great movie none the less. And you can already put it in the bank that Jamie Foxx will WIN an Oscar for Best Actor for his portrayal of Ray Charles. Go see it, if you can – you won’t be disappointed. And if you are, too bad….

Moving on…yesterday I went to another post-graduate volunteer fair that I mentioned about in an earlier post. And when I got there, who was the very first person that I bumped into – that's right, Jack. Seems like his table is next to mine again and so of course we chatted off and on again throughout the night. This time I just made sure that I went to the bathroom when he was busy talking to other people. And also, come to find out he is a big golfer and he asked me if I played too – to which I answered yes. So now, besides the lunch invite, he has also invited me to dinner in a few weeks at his place with some of his roommates – and looks like we may be hitting the links in the spring next year too. Wow – what a nice and swell guy – wouldn’t you agree?

As for this weekend, my housemates and I are going to a spa/retreat center in the mountains of Vermont near the border of Massachusetts. We are leaving today after lunch and won’t be back until Sunday night. Ah….what a life I tell you. For all of those who are jealous – and I know you are – you are all more than welcome to come join me here. We are always looking for a few good people. I can’t guarantee you a spot – but I will try to give you “da inside hook-up”. Have a great weekend. I will be sure to think about you guys while I am sitting in the hot tub/jacuzzi.

P.S. – Good luck to my friend Mo – who is having lasik eye surgery today, hope everything goes well. Of course you won’t be able to read this anytime soon though.

Peeping Jack

In the last few months, I have attended a few post-graduate volunteer fairs in the Midwest and this week – I am attending a few in the NY state area. So yesterday, I was at a small private college in upstate New York and ran into a fellow recruiter that I have met from previous fairs that we both attended. The tables at the fairs are usually set up alphabetically – so he has been next to me on a few occasions and we have talked quite a bit previously. He lives in Manhattan and had told me earlier to give him a call and have lunch sometime so that we can share some recruiting ideas and talk about our respective organizations. He seemed very nice and was a pleasant chap, but I have been kinda busy to call him for lunch. So as it was ending, we chatted a bit and he told me again that we should meet up sometime. I said sure and the both of us went about packing up our belongings and said goodbye.

Now this is where the story gets interesting my friends. As I was leaving, I had to stop by the little boys’ room. When I go in – who do I see – but Jack, the guy that I have been talking about. There were 3 urinals and he was at one end so I choose the one on the other end. Now as some of you male readers out there know, there are times when men will talk to each other as they are taking care of their business. When this happens, I just usually talk while staring straight ahead at the wall - rarely do us men talk facing each other. But on this occasion – Jack decides to turn to me and talk about the next fair coming up tomorrow. I didn’t want to be rude so I reluctantly turn towards him to converse. So as we are talking, something happens that I am still uncomfortable sharing with anyone – let alone my whole reading audience. But I think you guys deserve to know – so here goes. What happens next was a bit strange because not only did it happen once….or twice.…but three times. Yes THREE times!!! As he is facing me – he suddenly glances down and stare at my privates and continues to talk to me as if we were sitting at a bar shoot’n the breeze – he then looks up and acts like nothing happened. At first, I am like "hmmm, wonder what he is looking at – do I have a stain on my pants?" Sure I think it is kinda weird, but I did not want to nor did I allow myself to think otherwise. Then, as we are still talking – he does it again a second time. This time, I am like – "okay….this is getting a little weird and I am getting uncomfortable now – and I have black pants on so there can’t be a stain!" Then he glances up for a few seconds and looks down for yet a third time. At this point, I am like "DUDE!!! Hellooo.…I’m not looking at your thingy – why are you looking at mine?" So now I am finished with my business, I quickly - flush the handle, wash up and already half way out the door before I yell out "see you Thursday" as the door is hitting my butt as I race out of there. You can bet I am making sure he is not in the restroom tomorrow when I go in. I feel so violated. Hmmm… do you think I should still call him up for lunch though?

Trick Or Treat

Yesterday I attended The 31st Annual Halloween Parade In The Village. It was quite interesting, saw just about anything and everything. Besides the floats and bands, this is one parade where anyone can join in on the festivities. Anyone dress in a costume can march in and be part of the parade. There seemed to be a more political theme in this year’s parade for obvious reasons. A lot of people dressed up in Bush or Kerry costumes. But I think by far - the most non-political costumes were characters in the Kill Bill series. There were a lot of girls dressed as Uma Thurman in the yellow jumpsuit, that Japanese girl with the ball and chain, and numerous guys dressed as members of the Crazy 88s in their black suits, masks and swords. After the parade, I went and got a slice at Joe’s Pizza. If you have seen Spider Man 2, this is the pizza shop where Peter Parker worked at as a delivery boy before he was fired. They are planning to shut down that location in The Village because of the rising rent next month, so it was very cool and neat to eat in it before it closes it’s doors forever.

Well, tomorrow the big day is finally upon us. After months and months of debates, rhetoric, and campaigning – Election Tuesday is at hand. It seems like the only focus is being given to the so-called swing states, especially - Florida, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. Just who are these people in these swing states anyway? Does this population really represent the whole nation? Probably not, but for now, all eyes are on these states that hold they keys to this election . Who would of thought that the retired Amish dairy farmers of the country will have the final say in who the next president is? Kinda weird, scary and unfair, but until they get rid of the electoral votes system and go with the popular vote – I guess that will have to do for now.

So whether you will vote for Bush or Kerry, - notice I did not say Nader – go out and do it. Don’t mean to offend the Nader supporters out there, but we have to be realistic here. He has NO CHANCE of winning, and to me – casting a vote for him makes no sense. To borrow words from the candidates - "This would be the wrong election, the wrong candidate, and the wrong time" to vote for Nader. This presidential election has been one of the most contested, heated and important one in many many years – so make your vote count. And whether the next four years is a Trick or Treat for you – that depends on you going out, doing your duty and casting that ballot for your candidate. So go out and vote!!!